Over the course of my life, there have been several episodes of synchronicity – times when everything seemed to point to a singular theme.
The first time this happened, I was 16 – studying poetry and photography at Cambridge University, in a community of intellectual discourse unlike any I had ever experienced. During that summer, everything I read, made or felt pointed to a simple but powerful idea…
I began to see that human memories (deeply autobiographical or broadly historical; creative, logical, emotional or even physical) were so varied in their manifestation from person to person as to make one telling, narrative or “truth” an impossibility. And so I became obsessed with the ways in which human beings create truths through action, memory, and the iterative reinforcement or revision of both.
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In college and graduate school, I followed this thin, crooked thread to a series of node-like conclusions. It began with storied and social memory (Schank, Goffman), neural networks and analogical reasoning (Minskey, Forbus). This lead to further reading in behavior, action planning and decision making (Agre, Brooks). Over time, it generated to a deeper interest in reactive robotics and dynamic systems (Horswill) – and finally, games.
Specifically – games that engage notions of consequence and meaning. Because when we see a problem from multiple perspectives and experience multiple threads of action (System Shock, Deus Ex, SimCity, TheSims) suddenly we’re tinkering with the fundamental paradox of life.
In that one program, we throw away just enough to keep what’s truly compelling about a complex system. What we see influences how we act – which further influences what we see… until they are no longer separable. And that, in and of itself, drives us to examine our filters, behavior – even our morality.
At least – ideally.
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In the last year or so, I pulled away from these ideas, submerged in the dynamics of a new and unfamiliar system. Over time, the late nights, lack of sleep, and constantly shifting landscape of goals and priorities became all that I knew. My dreams were filled with connections I had never contemplated…
The way teams change when they double (or triple) in size. The difficulty we have communicating functionally across otherwise functional “pods” or “swats” or “cells”. The complexity of tracking and documentation processes. The false diplomacy of digital communication. The influence of long-held beliefs and fears on development methodology. Gender and power, personal narrative and organizational memory.
Different – and yet, so familiar.
While the mechanisms were new and outcomes less tangible (intuitions or “experience” in the place of publications or “study”) – the fundamental conundrums remain the same. From the highest and most abstract peak of a game’s design to the lowest and most mundane reality of its construction – the development cycle is a collective struggle to shape what is true about an idea, as it emerges, over time.
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Now that I’ve had a chance to catch up on my sleep, I find my dreams returning to familiar, larger patterns, with renewed strength and conviction.
I see many opportunities to build on our past strengths, and wonderful places to journey ahead. I see the power of emergence as a mechanic (so fundamental to what we’ve built so far), and the deep connection Sims games maintain between observation and agency, thinking and doing, patterns and tools.
It’s a bright time – new connections are forming, old connections are buzzing or routing anew. People bring books and ideas to my desk, we draw on the whiteboards, and there is a warmth in the air. As our collective, collaborative mind unfolds into research, we reach back to threads long dropped – finding them as crooked and present as ever. Our dreams are full of new pictures, and we’re energized once again.
It’s nice to be back!
The MySims page just got a 
